September 2018: Changes, Transitions and Beginnings
A new school year is upon us! Whether your summer seemed endless, with golden days and sparkling waves, or not remotely long enough, we are back to school and turning our thoughts towards fall. A new school year always fills me with anticipation and hope- it is a new beginning, a chance to start fresh, a year that could be the best yet. As humans, we are naturally excited by the idea of a new start with so many opportunities ahead of us. But as with anything else, this excitement can also be accompanied by anxiety and worry about what lies ahead.
We see it in the sixth grade students who enter the building for the first time, thrilled to be in middle school but concerned that what they've seen on television or in movies or read in books might be true. Will they be stuffed into lockers? Bullied? Humiliated by older students or mean teachers? What if they get lost and are late to class? What if they can't find their homework? Who will they sit with at lunch? What if they don't like the lunch? All of these questions, as well as their excitement at being allowed to walk alone in the halls, having their own lockers, and taking elective classes, are etched on each face as they walk through the front door and down the hall, searching for their classrooms.
We see it in the seventh grade students who enter the building as seasoned middle schoolers, some happy to be back, most resigned to their fate (many of these students are happy to be back too, but know better than to show it outwardly, lest they appear too eager). They greet their friends with hugs, high fives, smiles and excitment. Many of these seventh graders worry, too, about the academic workload before them. They wonder if what they have heard about seventh grade is true: the work is harder, there is more homework, the teachers are strict, the first field trip is a white water rafting one (the answers to those are: sometimes, sometimes, sometimes and yes!). Some are already thinking ahead to high school and college, adding extra pressure to themselves about their performance. Some are dreading the year, others are ready to take in on, feeling good.
We see it in the eighth grade students who enter the building knowing it is their last year as middle schoolers. Some feel as though they are on top of the world, the oldest, wisest, biggest dogs on campus while others feel bittersweet, not ready to be in the final year of this phase of life. All wonder if they are ready for high school, very few conclude that they are. Many begin to worry that they have not yet found their core group of friends or that they have not yet managed to conquer the academic challenges and expectations put forth for them. All of them are very aware of the increased gravitas of the final year of middle school.
What about parents? We've found, over the years, that parents have all the same fears that the students do. Parents know their kids and see what inspires them or challenges them. Parents have their own goals and hopes for their children as well. The same is true for teachers and other school staff- we all have our own hopes for the year, as well as worries about what is in store.
So what do we do with all these hopes and fears? How do we manage them so that we can enter the school year ready for whatever transpires? As always, the most important thing to do is to acknowledge and validate these feelings. Tell your student or child that this is a new start and also a big transition. Both are true at the same time. Talk about how you're feeling- your own excitement and trepidation. Remind your student or child of the positive aspects of change as well as the challenging ones. Finally, help your student or child to develop new (or revamp old) routines for the year. What needs to get done in the morning before school? What will they do after school? Having concrete structure and routines can help quell some of the anticipatory anxiety. Find humor and laugh together about the beginnings of school years past and find ways to connect past accomplishments to current worries. For example, you might recall how starting a new sport was challenging and that after a bit of practice and work, your child or student became more skilled and made new friends. Then you can connect that to how they're feeling now- with a little practice and work, things often feel better than when they first started.
Most of all, take a deep breath and center yourself. This year will be filled with all sorts of milestones, big and small, positive and negative. We are all ready to take them on and to learn from them, together. As always, the more connected we are, the stronger we are, and the better able to meet challenges we are. Find ways over this long weekend to re-connect with others- your kids, your family, your colleagues, your community. Use those connections to increase your readiness for the new school year.
Ready? Let's go!
Here's to a great year!
--Dr. J
See below for more tips and resources for helping children start a new year:
10 tips for kick-starting the new school year
33 tips for starting the year right (written for teachers)
Every Kid Needs A Champion- TED talk for educators (but parents will like it too!):
Rita Pierson talks about the power of connection to move students forward. Worth the 8 minutes.
We see it in the sixth grade students who enter the building for the first time, thrilled to be in middle school but concerned that what they've seen on television or in movies or read in books might be true. Will they be stuffed into lockers? Bullied? Humiliated by older students or mean teachers? What if they get lost and are late to class? What if they can't find their homework? Who will they sit with at lunch? What if they don't like the lunch? All of these questions, as well as their excitement at being allowed to walk alone in the halls, having their own lockers, and taking elective classes, are etched on each face as they walk through the front door and down the hall, searching for their classrooms.
We see it in the seventh grade students who enter the building as seasoned middle schoolers, some happy to be back, most resigned to their fate (many of these students are happy to be back too, but know better than to show it outwardly, lest they appear too eager). They greet their friends with hugs, high fives, smiles and excitment. Many of these seventh graders worry, too, about the academic workload before them. They wonder if what they have heard about seventh grade is true: the work is harder, there is more homework, the teachers are strict, the first field trip is a white water rafting one (the answers to those are: sometimes, sometimes, sometimes and yes!). Some are already thinking ahead to high school and college, adding extra pressure to themselves about their performance. Some are dreading the year, others are ready to take in on, feeling good.
We see it in the eighth grade students who enter the building knowing it is their last year as middle schoolers. Some feel as though they are on top of the world, the oldest, wisest, biggest dogs on campus while others feel bittersweet, not ready to be in the final year of this phase of life. All wonder if they are ready for high school, very few conclude that they are. Many begin to worry that they have not yet found their core group of friends or that they have not yet managed to conquer the academic challenges and expectations put forth for them. All of them are very aware of the increased gravitas of the final year of middle school.
What about parents? We've found, over the years, that parents have all the same fears that the students do. Parents know their kids and see what inspires them or challenges them. Parents have their own goals and hopes for their children as well. The same is true for teachers and other school staff- we all have our own hopes for the year, as well as worries about what is in store.
So what do we do with all these hopes and fears? How do we manage them so that we can enter the school year ready for whatever transpires? As always, the most important thing to do is to acknowledge and validate these feelings. Tell your student or child that this is a new start and also a big transition. Both are true at the same time. Talk about how you're feeling- your own excitement and trepidation. Remind your student or child of the positive aspects of change as well as the challenging ones. Finally, help your student or child to develop new (or revamp old) routines for the year. What needs to get done in the morning before school? What will they do after school? Having concrete structure and routines can help quell some of the anticipatory anxiety. Find humor and laugh together about the beginnings of school years past and find ways to connect past accomplishments to current worries. For example, you might recall how starting a new sport was challenging and that after a bit of practice and work, your child or student became more skilled and made new friends. Then you can connect that to how they're feeling now- with a little practice and work, things often feel better than when they first started.
Most of all, take a deep breath and center yourself. This year will be filled with all sorts of milestones, big and small, positive and negative. We are all ready to take them on and to learn from them, together. As always, the more connected we are, the stronger we are, and the better able to meet challenges we are. Find ways over this long weekend to re-connect with others- your kids, your family, your colleagues, your community. Use those connections to increase your readiness for the new school year.
Ready? Let's go!
Here's to a great year!
--Dr. J
See below for more tips and resources for helping children start a new year:
10 tips for kick-starting the new school year
33 tips for starting the year right (written for teachers)
Every Kid Needs A Champion- TED talk for educators (but parents will like it too!):
Rita Pierson talks about the power of connection to move students forward. Worth the 8 minutes.
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