Winter 2020: Dark Days and Fatigue
It's been quite a fall for all of us here at Bigelow, the Newton Public Schools, and, really across the U.S. and beyond. As we move toward the Winter Solstice, it feels like we are entering a dark tunnel, one in which we can just barely make out a light at the other end. It's hard to imagine what the world will look like in the Spring and how the vaccine might impact that.
Many of us are experiencing what experts are calling "Pandemic Fatigue." That feeling of being "done" with the restrictions, the isolation, the fear and anxiety. It's an exhausted, hopeless kind of feeling and when we feel that way, we aren't in the best mind to make wise choices. It's this kind of feeling that allows us to let down our guard and make rationalizations and excuses for our behavior, whatever it may be. This is what makes us watch just one more episode, play just one more round of a game, or stay up just a few more minutes later. We find reasons to make these choices acceptable to us, even if these reasons are thin or weak. It is at this time in our emotional state that we are the most vulnerable to poor choices and when we are more easily swayed or convinced to engage in behaviors we wouldn't normally find acceptable.
How do we shore ourselves up, then, so that we can keep on implementing those measures that will keep us safe and healthy? How do we convince our children to do it as well? They are just as tired as we are. I'll list a few articles and resources at the end for you to follow up with on your own but I'll try to offer some tips as well.
Some of our ability to stick with choices overall (in non-pandemic times) has to do with what motivates us. There are a number of theories about motivation and how it works. Drive Theory, Instinct Theory and Humanistic Theory are the most common ones. I'm partial to Humanistic Theory and Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs- the basic idea there being that if your most basic needs aren't being met, that is going to be what drives you. Simply put, if you don't have food, you're going to focus on meeting that need, not on studying for your chemistry exam. These theories can make it sound simple but the truth is that we are complex creatures and we have many reasons for the choices we make.
We also have to think about internal (intrinsic) vs external (extrinsic) motivation when we are attempting to maintain a behavior. External motivation is what we use when we make a star chart and determine a reward for reaching a certain number of stars. It's what we're using when we say, "okay, I'm going to clean the house and then I get to watch Netflix." There's something outside of ourselves that is our reward. Internal motivation is what we are constantly trying to teach our children. It's what the saying "anything that's worth doing, is worth doing well" means. We are doing the thing for the feeling we get after doing it. It is personal satisfaction as the reward. When we make a donation to a cause we support, we feel good that we are supporting that cause.
How does all of this apply to pandemic fatigue? Well, we have to think about what will motivate us to keep wearing masks, keep engaging in social distance, keep us from gathering in large groups inside. What is our motivation? If you haven't had a personal experience with the devastation that Covid-19 can bring, or if you have experienced it but it wasn't scary, it may be hard to connect all the measures we're taking to some perceived theoretical fear. How do we motivate if Covid-19 hasn't touched us in a way that makes it a convincing motivation?
The first step is to commit to a goal, for example, wearing a mask when you're outside of your home. It's important to underly that goal with a reason. Most of us have taught our children to wear helmets when they ride their bikes or wearing a seatbelt in the car with the goal of keeping them safe. Mask wearing is a safety behavior and we can remind ourselves of that and view it as such. The next step is to practice until it becomes a habit. At this point in the pandemic, I think most of us have those first two steps covered. To remain committed, we have to make it easy to do. Keep a stack of masks by your door so that when you leave your home, you can easily take one. Keep clean masks handy in your car or backpack so that you always have one handy. Get kids engaged by allowing them to pick the patterns and designs of the masks so that they are more willing to wear them. Finally, find ways to make the reasons for the goal personal for you. Think of the people you care about and how wearing a mask will keep them (and you) safe. You can also use that external motivation by rewarding yourself for wearing it- in my house we're partial to M&Ms as small rewards. *experts will say that food is NOT a good motivator and while this is scientifically true, my children don't really like stickers.
It is also important to stay grounded in your own emotions. Check in with yourself and offer yourself some compassion for whatever you might be feeling. Dig a bit deeper into your feelings to see if there is more there beyond the surface feeling. For example, anger is an emotion that is often stacked over sadness, fear, and anxiety. Try to tease out the different strands of emotion so that you can better learn what you may need. If you're feeling anxious, maybe time away from media will help. If you're feeling sad, perhaps setting a phone or video chat with a friend would be soothing. If you're feeling angry, maybe there is a way to channel that anger either by using it as motivation to work out or as motivation to work towards change within a social issue that matters to you.
Sometimes we simply need a break. We need to turn off screens, ignore the news, and curl up with our families or pets to rest. We need a nice cup of tea or a soothing book or movie that we've read or seen a million times but we know we can count on to take us away from our current situation. It is okay to take that break (especially as so many of us have our work/school lives merging with our at-home lives!).
I am wishing you all some calm, restorative time over the next few weeks. December 21, 2021 is the Winter Solstice and after that, even though we won't really be able to see it right away, the days will begin to become longer, with a few minutes more of sunlight and a few minutes less of darkness. Spring will come, as it always does, and we can use that fact to find some hope in what lies ahead.
Take care,
Dr. J
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Science of Motivation- APA
How To Deal with Coronavirus Burnout and Pandemic Fatigue- Johns Hopkins
5 Tips for Handling Pandemic Fatigue- UC Health Today
7 Steps to Reduce Pandemic Fatigue- UCLA
Best Books to Read If You Want To Escape Reality
Best Feel Good Movies to Escape Reality
Comments
Post a Comment