March 2022: Sleep

 Note: I wrote before the devastating war in the Ukraine. As I read over it now, it seems so silly to be thinking about sleep problems as well as many other things when it's clear that there are bigger issues in the world. There's so much happening everywhere- war, climate change, famine, murder, racism, poverty, pandemic... the list goes on and on, and it's very easy to be overwhelmed and to feel like our own seemingly smaller problems don't matter. The truth is, they do. As a therapist once told me, pain and suffering are not a competition. There will always be someone, somewhere who has it worse and who has it better than you do. Your pain is just as valid. So, the best that we can do, I think, is be where we are, when we are; to do what we can, when we can; and to help ourselves and help others as much as we're able. It's a very mindful way of being: staying in the moment and working on what's in front of us both personally and further-reaching.

As the Talmud states: "Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now, love mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."

(The Talmud is a collection of Jewish writings from the 3rd-6th centuries that outlines Jewish law and traditions)

March hosts National Sleep Awareness Week (March 13-19). A former colleague was fond of pointing out that sleep deprivation is a form of torture. While this is true, it's not a comforting thought to those of us who struggle with sleep. 

Sleep is so important to our bodies, physically and mentally. When we sleep, our bodies move through two sleep cycles- non-REM sleep (which has four cycles) and REM sleep (not to be confused with R.E.M.). REM sleep is when we dream, non-REM sleep is when we get our deepest rest. We move through these cycles four or five times in the hours we sleep. "Good" sleep has been connected to better abilities to take in, learn, and recall new information; stronger immune systems; and better overall health. "Poor" sleep has been connected to difficulty with memory, higher blood pressure, depression, and migraine headaches.

As I type this, I can feel my heart rate increasing because I fall into the "poor" sleeper category and every time I read about how bad it is for your body/mind, I start to worry. I've always been a light sleeper and I often wake in the middle of the night and am unable to get right back to sleep. This is, obviously, worse in times of stress and worry, which is ironic, as lack of sleep can increase and intensify experiences of stress and worry. If you sleep as I do, perhaps you've had the experience of being awake in the very early morning hours, worrying about not being able to sleep, and doing the sleep math: "If I fall asleep now, I'll have three hours before I have to get up."

What can we do to improve our chances of better, longer sleep? There are numerous articles and books and videos with tips. The basic ideas are similar: keep a regular sleep schedule, avoid strenuous exercise and heavy foods before bed, turn off screens an hour before you go to sleep, keep your bedroom cool and dark, and try meditating before you go to sleep. It can also be helpful to think about sleep differently. The idea of "segmented sleep" was common in the early 19th century and has been written about again recently. While that may not be a viable option for all of us, it is an intriguing idea to move away from the idea of a "full night's" sleep being a 7-9 hour unbroken stretch.

Being aware of the factors that impact our sleep can help us to shift our habits and frameworks about sleep which can, in turn, increase our likelihood of "better" sleep. Recognizing that sleep is necessary and noticing that our mainstream culture tends to glorify lack of sleep can also help to shift our ideas about sleep. Understanding how we feel when we have not been sleeping well versus when we have can also help to move us towards better rest. 

The truth is, we can't always sleep well; so many of us just don't have enough hours in the day to meet all our responsibilities and needs. The truth also is that finding ways to balance our sleep needs and our other responsibilities is a key part of self-care. Having boundaries around your time that include periods of rest are an essential piece of sustainable self-care.  

Take a deep breath, snuggle in, and get some sleep! 

Be well,

--Dr. J