Notes from the Counseling Department

It's October and we're just starting to get into the groove of the school year.  With that settling in, however, comes some predictable anxiety.  Maybe it's anxiety about a test or presentation or about a conversation we anticipate will be difficult.  Often the advice we're given is to "just breathe."  It's good advice but do you know why?  Our body's goal, at the core, is to survive. It's why so much of how our bodies function are not things we consciously control. One such part is the  autonomic nervous system , which regulates body functions such as breathing, heart rate, and digestion. The autonomic nervous system has two main parts: the  sympathetic nervous system  and the  parasympathetic nervous system , which are responsible for carrying out daily activities (such as digestion) and protecting us when we sense a threat. They are both always active systems but each can be activated to "take over" as needed. When our bodie...

Welcome back to school!  We are here in person, we are masked, and we have no remote learning options.  Which is to say, it feels a lot more like the "normal" we have been used to in the past.  There are still some differences, for example, we're eating lunch outside whenever possible, but overall it has felt good to be back in the school building with the students.  In preparing for the year, Bigelow's staff spent time learning about the concept of a " window of tolerance " which was first conceptualized by Dr. Daniel Siegel .  The basic idea is that we all have an optimal amount of space in our windows.  When we are in that space, we are open to new concepts, ideas, challenges, and experiences.  If we open our window too wide, we become overwhelmed and begin to spin out- our heart rate increases, our breathing becomes more rapid, our thoughts swirl, and we become ruled by our emotional reactions.  If we allow our windows to close too much, we sh...

As the days grow longer and the light gets brighter, we are nearing the end of what can only be described as a year like no other we've known.  We learned remotely, we learned in a hybrid model, and we learned with most of us in the building while still including those remaining remote.  All of us can now measure six feet without a ruler (about the length of a sofa or car), discuss which hand sanitizers are most effective, (I prefer the Bath & Bodyworks Sunshine & Lemons spray) and offer suggestions as to where to find the best, most comfortable face masks (I'm a fan of Athleta Activate brand).  We have washed our hands, eaten outside, and figured out how to unmute ourselves on Zoom.   Some of us have experienced unbearable loss and grief.  Others of us have experienced physical illness.  Many of us have felt incredibly high levels of anxiety, depression, and lethargy.  Many of us who already had experience with mental health challenges fe...

It's been quite a fall for all of us here at Bigelow, the Newton Public Schools, and, really across the U.S. and beyond.  As we move toward the Winter Solstice, it feels like we are entering a dark tunnel, one in which we can just barely make out a light at the other end.  It's hard to imagine what the world will look like in the Spring and how the vaccine might impact that.    Many of us are experiencing what experts are calling "Pandemic Fatigue."  That feeling of being "done" with the restrictions, the isolation, the fear and anxiety.  It's an exhausted, hopeless kind of feeling and when we feel that way, we aren't in the best mind to make wise choices.  It's this kind of feeling that allows us to let down our guard and make rationalizations and excuses for our behavior, whatever it may be.  This is what makes us watch just one more episode, play just one more round of a game, or stay up just a few more minutes later.  We find reasons to m...

Welcome back to school.... sort of!  We are back, though most students are remote, with a plan to return in a hybrid model in mid-November.   There is so much happening in our world right now, with the Covid-19 virus and subsequent responses and impacts, the upcoming election, the various protest movements across the country.  Emotions are running high wherever you turn.  It is so important to remain connected to loved ones and to be kind to yourself and those around you during this time.  It is ok to feel whatever you're feeling- sad, happy, confused, angry, restless, anxious, scared, worried, like you just want to crawl into bed with a good novel or movie- there are no "right" ways to feel right now.   Continue to support each other and to make safe choices.  We all need a bit more support right now, as we move from autumn into winter. It's a time when many people are impacted by the shorter days, the cooler temperatures, and lack of sunlig...

Here we are, nearing the end of the 2019-2020 school year.  In many ways it has been a year like no other. In the span of a few short months, we've gone to meeting in person to meeting on-line and feeling unsure about our health, our safety, and our country. Between the inequities sharply highlighted by the Covid-19 Pandemic and the recent protests against police brutality and inherent inequity for Black, Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC), many of us are reeling and wondering what we can do to help.  Many of us are also wondering how to talk to our children about these realities and how we can both protect them and make them active change agents. Rather than telling you what to do, we will remind you that staying connected with each other is an essential component of healthy emotional wellness and isolating yourself has a negative impact on your mental health.  So, please stay connected, check on each other, support each other. There are a number of resources l...

We at Bigelow are missing our students and each other so much.  We've created a video to express just how much! Click here to view.  Stay connected and safe! --Dr. J